Funeral repasts and other public events usually occur after a death, usually in the middle of the week or during the holidays.
For many people, however, the idea of a funeral is much more of a distant memory, and the celebration of a family member’s death is something that is still an emotional roller coaster ride.
“I think people want to be in the moment,” said Julie R. Brown, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who studies funeral ceremonies.
“The fact that you have to do it in front of all these people and people are saying, ‘Oh, my god, we just want to get to know your family and get to have the most important day of our lives.'”
In the past, families often wanted to pay their respects to a loved one who had passed away before their own funeral, or who had died years earlier.
But even if they did, many people don’t want to go through the hassle of making arrangements.
Funeral homes that serve families with funeral arrangements often are reluctant to make them public, as they can be expensive, and often, the people who make arrangements are often relatives of the deceased.
So for most of the time, funeral arrangements are kept to a minimum.
But even with all that reluctance, the public is starting to make plans to pay respects to loved ones who have passed away.
Last week, for instance, the National Association of Funeral Directors reported that a record number of Americans said they planned to pay tribute to loved one or close family members who have died.
According to the report, more than 4 million Americans plan to pay a condolence visit to their loved ones, with 1.3 million paying $200 or more for a condolent visit.
In contrast, about 6 million Americans said that they planned no memorial services.
“People are going to have to make that choice,” said Nancy M. Smith, a funeral director at the Boca Raton, Fla., funeral home where the group surveyed the respondents.
“Or they’re going to pay the $200 to be at a funeral.”
In addition to the funeral plans, many families are preparing their loved one’s will for the memorial service.
And, with the death of a loved ones last name, there is a growing sense of familiarity.
“My sister’s daughter passed away,” said one woman in a funeral home who declined to give her last name.
“I have to be able to say, ‘This was a part of her life, so it’s a part that I am going to honor.’
It makes a huge difference.
There is a sense of being able to make a statement, even though it’s not very formal, and not a lot of people can do it.”
Another woman in her mid-40s said that her mother had passed, and she needed to make sure she had a will that she could share.
“It’s a way to honor the memory of her family,” she said.
“When I was growing up, I would get up and leave the house and be with my father, but I would never have done it,” said another woman who was planning to pay her brother’s funeral.
“And it was something that I had to do with the funeral of a relative.”
There is one person who doesn’t have to pay that amount to go to the cemetery.
When she and her husband, who is a police officer, decided to make their funeral public, they made the decision to pay it.
“It is something we are very proud of,” said the couple, who also said they had never wanted to go public with their plans.
“But we had to make it public.
And it’s just a matter of us making sure that it’s in the right hands, that the family has enough information to make the decision.”
The costs associated with a memorial service are sometimes higher than the costs of a private funeral, and some funeral directors, who work for large companies, have also had to deal with the extra expense of having to pay for the cremation, embalming and burial.
Still, many funeral directors say that they are confident that the costs associated will fall on their shoulders.
“We feel that we are doing the right thing,” said Ms. Brown.
“There is no cost to us.”